You're Charlotte Roche
Take Ich werde ein Berliner today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
Get the champagne out! You reached the perfect score! This can only mean one thing - you are already blending in perfectly wiz ze Germans...strike that, you are even surpassing them in terms of sweet, edgy, and quirky German-ness!
Do German people seem like they just cannot get enough of you? Do they applaud you for every trivial and boring thing you say and see an important, deeper meaning in each of your little gimmicks? Then, you have truly mastered the art of blending in with German people, just like british-born actress/writer/singer/tv-host/political activist/all-around creative yet spontaneous person Charlotte Roche.
Now you probably wonder what makes Charlotte (and you) so "simply irresistible" to German people? Lean back and enjoy spotting the similarities:
You are a 30-something infinite girlie with messy dark hair, have an ironic fashion sense, and like to use your frequent talk show appearances to pretentiously display your critical stance on tabloid newspapers and "multi-national corporations". When you hear someome claiming that you yourself may have become just that - a multinational corporation, you use the popular "reproachful stare" move and call that person to lighten up and be less quaint and more spontaneous.
Looking at your biography, it seems a path to blend in perfectly wiz ze Germans was sketched out from your feeblest beginnings:
You were born into a "creative and alternative" environment in a bobo part of London, the city that aspires to become like Hamburg one day. Your mother is a political activist/slash/artist who married four times. Some lucky day, your family moved to a boring backwater village on the Germany-Netherlands border where you experimented a bit with edgy and artsy stuff like self-mutilation. Your self-proclaimed life goal back then already was to appear more "provocative" to adults (now how edgy is that?). At 15, you moved out to work on your "urban bohemian swag", and of course had your father pay for the due Altbau apartment.
Being a cold-blooded careerist at heart, you straight went to work at the German music television company VIVA, which was watered-down, cheesier version of MTV. There, you quickly became a celebrity TV-Host, known for interviewing indie rock bands in a "new and edgy" way. Soon, more TV gigs followed, including one "scripted reality" show where you took on several different blue-collar jobs while being followed by one of those totally "now" handheld cameras. German people were again so fully mesmerized by your never-before-seen, quirky, and ironic concept, that the phrase "Did you see Charlotte Roche!! She was driving a bus!! Now, how edgy and ironic is that!!!" had to be included in the official "Duden" dictionary.
Your real claim to fame though is writing a multi-national bestseller in which you break some non-existing taboos in a pretentious and self-important way because you figured out the that that's the safest and quickest way to get Germans to fetch their "EC-Karte".
Now that you are basically done with blending in wiz ze Germans, all left to do for you is to milk your fame for all it is worth. Remember, you will never be made accountable for anything if you keep it ironic, so enjoy your glorious future in D-Land. And maybe drop by Ich werde ein Berliner now and then to say "Hi!".
